I am officially signed up to run a half-marathon…on October 15…that’s 80 days away. [Insert your favorite swear, here, because I am.] To say that I am nervous would be quite the understatement. I’m not exactly what you would call a “runner,” in fact I barely even like it. But I’m getting there. I hear the “runner’s high” is a thing. I’ll let you know if I ever find out.
When I decided to give running a try, I knew that a 5k or even a 10k wouldn’t properly motivate me – so a half marathon it is! I know myself well enough to know that if the challenge isn’t daunting, I would figure out how to just fake my way through it, if worse comes to worse. I did a 9k run once (yes, I know, it’s an odd distance). I barely trained and had bronchitis in the weeks leading up to it. I figured that, worst case scenario, I could walk if need be. This time around I’m not looking to rely on walking to get myself through it – I know I can walk (and will probably have to at some points) but I don’t want it to be my safety blanket.
I have watched friends and family finish races and always envied the feeling of accomplishment I saw them experience as they crossed the finish line. I have actually cried/teared up in most cases. (Side note: I’m a crier. It doesn’t take much to make me cry. Though as much as I can cry pretty easily, I actually really don’t like when people see me cry. It’s a conundrum.) That’s why I’m running. I don’t know how pretty it will be, or how long it will take me – but I am chasing that feeling. I am also really excited to finish and see my son waiting for me – I really want him to see his mom cross the finish line.
I don’t challenge myself very often. I have a huge fear of failure, of looking stupid, or not doing it “right.” I tend to stay in my “safe space.” And, quite honestly, that’s no way to live. With the decision to go for a half marathon, I am very aware that any one – or all three – of those things are a real possibility for me. So, while I am chasing the runner’s high and that feeling of true accomplishment when you complete something you have been working hard for, I am also ready to fall down – literally and figuratively, probably look pretty stupid at least a few times, and accept the fact that there is no “right” way to really do this – I just have to figure out a way to cross the finish line.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, I will be running in the New England Harvest Half Marathon. And, the fact that there will be beer, cider, and pie waiting at the end certainly doesn’t hurt. As if that wasn’t enough, my sister has decided to make the trip from Florida to join me so I am left with zero excuses to not do this. I am signed up, I have shared my intent with the world, and now it’s on me to just work for it.
You’ll hear more about my journey to the finish line over the course of the next 80 days.
80 days to go…